In elementary school, my friends and I would play house. Erick or David or Troy was always the dad, and I was the mom. Always. I never remember playing one of the kids, I just remember always playing the mom. Just like it’s becoming evident that my son was always born to be a big brother, I feel like being Mom is a role that -no matter what other roles would or would not come my way – was bound to be part of my life in one way or another. And I so greatly admire and respect all of the other mamas of the world out there. What you do is your business, but the fact that you do it, day in and day out? I give you mad props for that, mamas. Because I am trying to do the same thing. I learn from you, and I thank you for doing what you do because you help teach me how to be a better mom.
That’s why this Mother’s Day, my wish (along with seeing the new Star Trek movie at the IMAX theater!!) is that we all just effing get along. For 5 years now, I’ve been a mom. In those 5 years I’ve seen motherhood bring out the best in women and the worst, and the worst is often the ugliness I see when moms are talking about or with other moms. What is that about? Why do we feel the need to pick apart how others mother? Their choices, their skills, what they feed their children, how they discipline, what they do or do not buy their children…Every.Little.Decision we make is overanalyzed and up for discussion.
I understand that part of how we learn how to be the best mom we can be is to watch others and decide for ourselves whether or not we would do what the other mom did. That’s fine. That’s human. But quite frankly, I don’t give a flying crap whether or not you feed your kids all organic meals or whether you eat at McDonald’s, whether you only have wooden toys in your house or whether you’ve got a big plastic jumpy castle in your living room, whether you give time outs or not, whether you work or stay at home, whether you take your kids to church or not. Maybe it’s because I’ve got 2 kids now and they’re out of the baby stages, but I have no interest whatsoever in engaging in debates with other moms about what’s “right” and what’s “wrong” in terms of raising our kids. I do my research, you do yours, and let’s just BE.
Because in the end, it’s the relationship between you and your child that matters. I have no idea what it’s like to be in your house, and you have no idea what it’s like to be in mine. I love that as similar as we may be, all of our lives are so different, all of our children are unique, and all of us moms are individuals with our own way of mothering. I have the privilege of working with hundreds of mothers through the work that I do, and every one of them is a FABULOUS mother. I cherish the fact that they all do what’s best for their families and that what is best is different for everyone. I am constantly amazed by how they deal with the challenges they face, how they all have these amazing highs, how much they absolutely, overwhelmingly are crazy in love with their families. I am in awe of all of you moms out there. Hats off to you, mama! You inspire me and I thank you all for loving your children and for supporting me in the ways that I love mine.
This is the weekend for appreciating ALL moms, and I just wanted you all to know that this mutha certainly appreciates all of you. I wish you all a lovely Mother’s Day filled with no judgment – just love & respect! Peace, mamas. Peace.