Today is my baby girl’s first birthday. It is 1:30 in the morning. I just finished making her food and packing it up for her to take to our nanny share tomorrow. I posted on our family blog. I am looking at her baby pictures and getting all weepy and it’s freaking me out because I am not normally weepy. But here I am. A ball of mess either because it is 1:30 in the morning and I am totally exhausted or because I really can’t believe our baby is one year old now. Maybe because of both.
I’ve returned to this blog because it is where I write about being a mommy, and while I can write a little about that on my other blogs, they are all for someone else. For entrepreneurs, for business news, for others. This one is for me. I get to write about how much I love/dread/worry about being a mama, and all of the fun/crazy/annoying/insane things my kids do to fill our days. I keep this blog because being a mama is what consumes me the most, and because it is the part of my life that holds the most change and activity. Today I am just proud to be a mom to two kids who really are the greatest kids I could have ever hoped for. They make me smile like nothing else in the world. They are my world. And there are two of them now, both getting to be so big and so much their very own little people.
Tickle has always seemed older to me, to my husband, and even my parents keep mentioning that she has always seemed older than her age. She was born with these wise expressions, and from the moment she opened her eyes it seemed she could focus clearly on the world around her. Maybe it’s because I know we are not having more kids that I am weepy today; not because we’re not having more kids (lord, I am cheering that notion!) but because Tickle is the last baby in our house, and she is really almost no longer a baby.
Tickle’s eyes light up whenever someone she knows and loves walks into a room, and then she breaks into the biggest smile you’ve ever seen, and her whole body jumps from excitement. Her laugh comes so easily and is so honest and large that it resonates in my head for hours later, making me smile. She is adventurous, fearless, but smart; she’ll try anything but her every moment is well thought-out and precise. She is a great eater and definitely has my appetite. At one, she is already eating us out of house and home, and it makes this mama proud. She is loving, affectionate, and kind. She will race across the room to hug her brother. She rests her head on our shoulders and wraps her arms around our necks so affectionately it takes our breath away. She is our baby, but I think in many ways, she takes care of us sometimes instead of the other way around.
Happy birthday, baby girl. We love you more than you could ever know. Now get ready for some amazing cupcakes! We’re sure you will eat them up! :)